An Expanding Family

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!
I know it's been a while since I've written in my blog, so I'll have to update with quite a bit.  I'll post some pictures pretty soon as well.

These past few months have been an absolute whirlwind for my family.   From two weddings, to two funerals, to the birth of a child, to the reunion of extended family, to the discovery of another creeping cancer in another relative, things couldn't be more dizzying.  Dave has been such a strong husband to lean on during the hard times, and an amazing partner to walk with during the fun ones.  Even when I folded the flag at my grandfather's funeral, his eyes steadied me as the triangle became larger and the stripes shorter, and when I knelt in front of my teary-eyed grandma he nodded his encouragement.  Andy was also a wonderful cousin, helping me to fold the flag, and gave me strength before the ceremony.  Sometimes, it's the little moments that bring family from different corners of the country together....and that moment, with the nine stars and my grandmother's cream flowered dress, will forever be etched into my memory as a hallmark testament to the strength of my family and the legacy the elders are leaving behind.  I have to re-find my inchstone...I tried to find it the day before I left for Grandpa's funeral, but it eluded me.  I'm sure it's somewhere amongst my jewelry, but it has yet to surface.  I think it will make me cry as much as the ring and necklace from Grandpa's OCS days.

The death of my grandmother, two months later and soon after the birth of Dave's cousin's new baby Miles Burton, was a shock to all of us.  We knew she was weakened with joint pain, but we didn't know how weak: the pancreatic cancer was back, and it was back to claim her.  The days I spent with Grandma Al in the hospital were as strange as they were meaningful.  The two moments that struck me were when she told me she missed her other babies...."What babies?" I asked her.  She told me she had three msicarriages, but they were all blessings because she would not have had Dad or Uncle Brady otherwise.  "You wouldn't be around either, and you have been so good to me," she told me, and smiled.  It was entirely painful to hold back the tears at that point, when she said she would get to see them, Grandpa Jerry, and Grandpa Pappy again.  I think the closest moment I had to God was when I was in that room, when she waved at someone I couldn't see, and described her as a nurse in brown scrubs who asked her if she believed in Heaven.  I swear I could feel that angel in the room as my whole body flushed and tensed.  I remember simply watching Grandma's chest rise and fall as she napped, and every time she rested for more than three seconds without a breath I found myself holding my own breath, and praying, Please don't die yet.  Please don't stop breathing.  Keep breathing.... until I saw her chest rise again and I could breathe relief.  Grandma held on for a couple more days, just long enough to see my Aunt Stevie and her family, and spent her last hour in the company of all three of her kids while they were on conference call.  The funeral was again in Oakton, Illinois, surrounded by old friends and family.  In the early morning hours before we drove to the funeral home, the three kids' familes--minus Andy, Matt and Mary--drove out to the farm to shoot a potato gun that Kyle had fashioned out of PVC pipe.  Dad made a comment that Grandpa would have been fully excited to be shooting the potato gun, and "Mom wouldn't participate, but she would smile and think it was just as fun to watch."  We joked that Eric (the awesome guy in charge of fielding Grandpa's farmland) would find sweet potatoes in the fields next spring and wonder who in the world planted them.  Then Dad got the devious idea to do donuts in the field, and promised to tell Eric that it wasn't the mischievous kids next door who put crop circles in the field, it was the mischievous out-of-towners.  Uncle Brady nearly tipped his minivan, but Dad managed a good few circles while I screamed like a little girl in the backseat and my siblings laughed at me.  The fields will eventually be just fine, because they only plant in the spring...but the three ruts in the field remain where my grandparents can smile and laugh over them.

This Thanksgiving, I drove to Tallahassee with Dave to see Aunt Lynn, Uncle Jon, Jon Scott, Melissa and the kids.  It was really neat reuniting with other parts of the family that I hadn't seen since the family reunion, and Dave loved Uncle Jon and they got along really well.  He even gave some techie computer advice and we went out Black Friday shopping (after the rush, of course) and Uncle Jon bought a new computer.  Before we headed home we had pizza and coke at Sam's Club since the hot dogs weren't ready--apparently a regular thing at that particular Sam's, as Uncle Jon pointed out.  When the boys tried to set the computer up, however, Uncle Jon had forgot that he had computer programs for his work on the old computer and it wasn't transferring well to the new one.  We all got very frustrated, but it was kind of funny--I don't think any of us remembered how big of a project getting a new computer was.  But it was all a good time for the boys, and Dave helped remove some cords behind the desk that weren't plugged in and untangled the rat's nest.  The rest of the family was glad for the better internet speed, despite Uncle Jon's protests that it was just fine.  The dinner the previous night was absolutely delicious, with everything imaginable for your Thanksgiving meal:  turkey, french green bean casserole, candied sweet potatoes, rolls, mashed potatoes, banana nut bread, pumpkin bread, stuffing, cranberry sauce and cranberry salad (recipe courtesy of Grandma Nee, and everyone loved it!), wine all around, and I'm pretty sure I've forgotten a few things but it was amazing.  We then had pumpkin pie with whipped cream while we watched the Russell Crowe version of Robin Hood, and Melissa had her apple pie with ice cream.  (It's a texture thing.)  It was all wonderful until I threw everything back up later that evening--something must not have agreed with my stomach.  I didn't tell anyone except for Dave, because I didn't want to hurt anyone's feelings, but apparently it gave him the grumblies, too.

Earlier a couple days ago, I got a call from my mom's side of the family to let me know that Cammie has non-Hodgkin's lymphoma and several hernias in different places.  Being as old as she is now, the doctors don't think they should do radiation or chemotherapy, and the best they can do is give her some kind of medicine to reduce the hernias and give her IV pain medication.  It's a scary time, especially since the prognosis isn't good--they are giving her anywhere from a few days to a few weeks.  Losing three grandparents in the span of three months is not something you expect to live through in your lifetime.  I had always said that if I had a baby while she was still alive, I wanted her to be the first person to hold her, but I'm not so sure anymore that she will live to see any children I have.  95 years is an awesome lifespan, but it's still upsetting to see anyone go.  I was frustrated when I looked at my LES and found that I was out of leave--I can't take emergency leave because technically she isn't "immediate family" as per the AFI, but I'm out of regular leave, too.  Dave promised he would go up anyway if I couldn't, which meant so much to me.

In other parts of my life, there's lots of exciting times that are a little less dismal.  Nori, our little fuzzball of a kitten who we got back in August, is growing fast, and she's changed from a scrawny grey-and-tan to a beautiful, full-faced tortoiseshell calico with blacks, browns, goldens and creams.  She is always playful, and Dave and I swear that she's three pets in one.  She likes to purr and cuddle, but she also greets you at the door and talks all the time, and when we sit in our chairs in the office she's either in our laps or perched on our shoulders.  Cat, dog AND bird!  She's still a mama's girl, though, and she follows me everywhere--the kitchen, the office, the laundry room, the art room, the bathroom, the bedroom...you name it, she's there.  She'd even jump in the shower with us if she weren't so scared of the water, but she makes do by poking her head underneath the outside curtain and putting her paws up on the edge of the tub behind the inside curtain, and meows at whoever is in the shower until they get out so she can lick their toes dry.  She's also very smart--she learned how to open a standard doorknob the other day by jumping and clamping on to one side of the knob to pull it down.  Good thing we keep our front door locked!  Work is always fun for me.  A few days before Thanksgiving I did my first solo C-section, and ended up transferring a baby out to a different hospital.  Despite being nervous on the inside, I was completely calm on the outside, and I was very proud of myself.  I do postpartum on my own now, and I'm still waiting on my PNC course to be able to do my labor patients on my own.  I heard though that they might no longer hav a spot for me in January for some reason, thanks to Reservists taking spots over active duty, so it might be on hold until the spring.  I'm okay with that for right now--it means that it will warm up during before I'm up there! :)  Florida gave me thin skin pretty quick, that's for sure, but at least the summers are awesome.

Dave and I went out Christmas shopping on Saturday since there were still deals going on, and we discovered a mall that we didn't even know was there.  We got to browse around, and it was nice to know there were actually stores over there that resembled a typical mall in NOVA.  It's been pretty sparse finding our favorite stores in Niceville, since everything is in Destin and Fort Walton, but now at least we know they are there!

I promise I will update more.  Things are in more of a routine now.  Pictures to come.